Monday, April 14, 2003

You have brought up some very good insights into the quality of relationships and what prevents people from achieving that type of relationship--> namely, fear. Taking a look at my own church fellowship (a place where we're supposed to have depth and vulnerabilty), I find that we haven't achieved 'quality' relationships with each other. It's as if we are all wearing a 'mask' or at least being whom others 'perceive we ought to be.' Instead, I am most 'myself' with my significant others and my close 1 or 2 friends (and other close friends to varying degrees). Part of it is fear as well as lack of trust. I don't know the people in my fellowship well enough to know whether I can *trust* them with my deepest feelings/thoughts. Will they tell others outside the group? Will I be judged? Will I be seen as 'weak' or 'odd'?

So how does one manage to have more than the typical '1 or 2' deep & honest relationships? Where do you find the time? :)

My list of characteristics for a good man and/or woman....hmmm...probably very similar to yours. I'd also add 'a good name' (in other words, they are well-spoken of by all kinds of people). They would be a person of integrity, humility, sincerity, and a teachable spirit.

A random question (which came up in fellowship): Would you consider "suggesting" by a woman to be an act of initiative? Example::"Hey, would you like to go and get coffee some time?"

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