Should trust also be included in the 'formula' for "depth of relationship"? Transparency + vulnerability + dialogue + trust. If we define it as such, I don't think it's a possibility within the context of a church fellowship- especially a large one. Even with small groups, I haven't seen much deep relating. What is one supposed to do? You can't exactly say, "hey people...please start deeply relating with each other? Take off your masks....overcome your fears." I know people desire it, but how does it happen?
Would you say that deep relating occurs outside of fellowship? That it is in part a function of context? For example, deep relating would occur if there are fewer people in a more intimate setting more conducive to sharing. I also think that deep relationships scare some people. A person shares too much, and the rest of the group feels a little uneasy. They think, "Why didn't this person share this privately, rather than corporately?"
You're definitely not the "stereotypical" extrovert. :) It's interesting to note that most stereotypical extroverts aren't deep relaters. It's the otter versus retriever (Trent & Smalley's Two Sides of Love) dichotomy although I know it could happen.
more on relationships
Thursday, July 24, 2003
conversations that overflowed from talking about relationships - cf. original email exchange captured as the Relationship Theory dialogue
about team
Christine
female, 30yo; single and currently dating; Chinese-American. Enjoys journaling
and good relationship movies. Finds relationships interesting because of the
behaviors/motivations/thought processes which guide our interactions with each other.
djchuang
male, 36yo; married 7 yrs w/ 1 child; Chinese-American.
Enjoys dialogue and hangin' out with people. Interested in talking about relationships
because relationships are the most valuable thing in life, and we can't have too many of them.
More about me at www.djchuang.com
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